Innocence

When was the first time you lost yours? The first time a dream didn't come true? Your heart was broken? You realized that some people are just mean to the bone? Do we ever really loose our innocence? I would like to believe that we hang onto it, at least a little bit. If you've ever worked with children, you can see the erosion of their innocence. Compare a first grader with a 7th grader...they are on opposite ends of the spectrum. The world is fresh and alive, each day a new discovery for a six year old. A twelve year old, on the other hand, has attitude and skepticism. They look at adults and authority figures as if they are crazy. Their knowledge comes from peers. But, then we grow and change. We become adults ourselves. And, we look for innocence again. What is a wedding, if not hope and innocence being reborn? We hope to join our life and love with someone 'til death do us part, and we maintain the innocence that that task will not be an arduous adventure. The same is true of children. We go into the idea and creation of family with the innocence of a baby. If not, whom would ever choose to have children? The work is incredible; the reward a long way off...18 years of blood, sweat and tears. The work of creating a family is the same...we join our life with another to make a family and along the way we often find out we have grown into very different people who don't believe in the same idea of family. This has left me bereft. I've lost my innocence, which was always my ability to hope and trust and dream.