Storms

Two nights ago, storms ripped through here. And, I do mean "ripped through here" literally. Lots of downed trees and branches. In my yard, I lost quite a few large branches. Anyway, it was frightening. The lashing wind and rain, the hail, the thunder and lightning. I say frightening from the perspective of health and safety. I wasn't scared of the storm per se; just scared that my roof might cave in, the basement might flood and I might loose power. The storm itself was fascinating. It was nature beating us to a bloody pulp. It was aggression and anger and in the end, it was calm. All of us, at some time or another, feel a storm inside. Whether or not we acknowledge our storms is yet another matter. I would love to huff and howl and thunder and lightning and hail as a means to calm my inner storm. This is not acceptable behavior, though, the release of rage through violence. So, instead, I usually push my feelings aside and once in a great while, I explode. It's usually the littlest thing that sets me off, but it's a chain reaction. All the bad and dirty and stinky feelings I have had for months come tumbling out. I'm working on ways to curb this. I have never been good at taking care of myself emotionally. I need to exercise at least 3 -4 times a week and I need to eat a healthy diet and I need to drink lots of water and I need sleep. I also need love and laughter. Emotionally, I am very in-touch with my feelings, but often have a hard time managing them, working through issues and being honest. I need courage and fortitude to do this. I also need to accept that everyone's mind does not work like mine. And, because of this, I need to manage me, and only me.

I just finished spinning this morning with my favorite instructor, Dawn. We rode down the California coast. I love her verbal simulations. We rode through sun and rain, up hills and down. And, all the while I was riding, I was thinking of my storm and pushing through it. You don't always need words to figure things out. And, this is what I'm learning from Mother Nature's storms.